1. Anyone could be taking a selfie at any given time
It is completely appropriate for your colleagues to be posing awkwardly facing their camera phones. It might even take them several attempts to capture the right ‘angle’ and the most flattering ‘pout’.
2. Everything is a tweet
One of the banes of being a Social Media Junkie is that you will be constantly creating and curating content. The minute someone says something profound or humorous, we automatically start formatting it in our heads as a tweet or a Facebook Status.
‘That’s a tweet!’ is the best compliment you could get after you utter something sensible or nonsensical.
3. Klout Score matters
“Why am I tagged in this? I’m getting all these annoying irrelevant notifications.”
“That’s okay, your Klout score is going up.”
It is totally acceptable to announce an increase in your Klout score. Or brag about it. Speaking of which, did you know that if your Klout score is 63 or more, you fall in the top 5% of Klout users?
4. Mobile Jams don’t affect us
Since the only reason we use Text Messages/Calls is to check up on our grandparents, we really don’t care if the networks are down.
Our primary source of communication is the internet. Expect a dharna at Teen Talwar if the government introduces a Wi-Fi jam.
5. Cellphone Breaks
Smoking breaks, lunch breaks, namaz breaks are too mainstream. We have dedicated cellphone breaks in which we reply to our Whatsapp messages, Twitter mentions, Instagram comments, Snapchats and Facebook comments.
6. We take ‘pics or it didn’t happen’ way too seriously
Remember that point above where we are constantly creating and curating content for Social Platforms? We strongly believe that visual proof yields authenticity and higher engagement. Which is why we tend to document every single experience of our lives, even as we are experiencing it.
Thank God for cameraphones.
7. Arguments over who blocked whom on Facebook are totally legit
True story. Having a team meeting just to discuss whether it should be allowed for a colleague to block another colleague off their Social Media platforms.
8. Inter office communication is replaced partly by Twitter
Gtalk? Skype? What’s the point of having meaningful private conversations when you can be a glorified exhibitionist and talk to your fellows on Twitter all day and annoy the crap out of all those mutually following you all.
9. Lunches are replaced with Tweet ups
If you’re all on Twitter, and you’re all meeting up for lunch, it’s technically a tweet up right? Right?!
No. For it to be a Tweet-up, there needs to be at least one person from Twitter who does not work with you there. And that doesn’t include former colleagues.
10. You start talking in handles
‘Politicians ne bhi kya laga ke rakha hai. Ismay Aam Awaam ka kya qasur hai?’
‘Kon? Tooba? Twitter wali?’
‘Abay kya bolrahi hai Bhains Ki Takkar!’
‘Ayla? Tum Ayla ko kaisay jantay ho?’
‘Nai yaar aurAdil ka to apna business hai’
We really don’t care what people overhearing us think about our conversations. They shouldn’t be eavesdropping in the first place!
11. Checking News Channels? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
And lastly, why would we need news channels when we can just have a dedicated column in our Tweetdeck for Norbalm‘s security alerts?
Or better yet, have subscribed to him via pring!
Do you work at a Digital Agency or with Social Media enthusiasts? Do comment and let me know if you think my observations are correct and if you have noticed something I have missed out.