I want to write this because I want to give words to what I’m feeling right now. And I don’t want to forget this feeling. Even though it is heart wrenching and painful. Even though it feels as if my insides are slowly burning like a coal has been placed inside my chest. But I don’t want to forget this pain. Because this pain comes from love, a kind of love that I otherwise never knew.
I never had a father figure in my life while growing up. But this man that I am talking about very subtly made his way into my heart, exactly like he made his way into so many others.
“Adil mera beta tha. Lekin ab mera damaad hai. Kyunke tum meri beti ho”.
These words of his have more value in my life than I could tell him. He made me feel complete, he filled the void in my life where I had no experiences previously.
He was kind, and firm. He would always give the best advice. He would joke with us, he would tweet with us, he would go to MHDFKHI meetups with us. He would pick on Arsalan fondly when we were all there at his place and when Arsalan would not be around, his face would light up when he told us how proud he was of Arsalan.
This is another reason why I will always be deeply grateful to him. For giving birth to and raising one of the most beautiful people that I know.
Why he had to leave so suddenly makes no sense to me. I cannot comprehend the fact that when I next to go Arsalan’s place, he will not be there to pat me on the head and give me duas. That he will not be liking my pictures on Facebook. That he will not be sharing his words of wisdom with me. Since the loss is so great, I think it is fair to give it time to sink in.
I would like to end this by saying that I, exactly like Mr. Sarfaraz M. Khan, am extremely proud of Arsalan and his younger brothers, who are the strongest children I have met. May Allah give them and auntie all the strength, happiness and comfort of this world. And may Sarfaraz M. Khan spread his warmth and love in Jannah exactly like he did in this world.